Defence Attorney: Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
Defence Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened
the
night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front
porch on
a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch
and
sat down beside me.
Defence Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defence Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.
Defence Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.
Defence Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner died
some
30 years ago.
Defence Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.
Defence Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
Defence Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I
haven't
felt that good in years!
Defence Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just
laid
down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me!"
Defence Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's
when I
shot him, the little bastard.
Defense attorney/little old lady
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pretty funny
