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Alabama: Yes, we have electricity.
Alaska: Not Just Ice & Snow Anymore
Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat
Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing
California: As Seen On TV
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier & With Less Character
Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia: We Put the "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho: Potatoes & NeoNazi's ... What More Could You Ask For?
Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce The "S"
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas: Where Science Don't Mean S##t!
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourist Campaign
Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
Montana: Land of the Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, & Very Little Else
Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada: Whores & Poker!
New Hampshire: Go Away & Leave Us Alone
New Jersey: You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer Friggin Motto, Right Here, Pal!
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney.
North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota: We Really Are One of the 50 States!
Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender.
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee: The Educashun State
Texas: Si, Hablo Ingles (Yes, I Speak English)
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont: Yep
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs & Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds & Slackers!
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family - Really!
Wisconsin: Come Cut Our Cheese
Wyoming: Where men are men and sheep are scared!